A Dialogue with Two Philosophers

I was walking down the street. It was cold and tiny snowflakes filled the air. They looked very jolly, but they were not doing anything for me because my head was packed with bad thoughts. I was pondering the excess of my misery when I was accosted by two homeless fellows, one very young and one very old.

“Hello there, kind stranger,” said the older, “We were just standing over there when we saw you and we wondered if you would like to contribute to our libations of the coming night. A small amount of money would be sufficient, as our needs are not very sophisticated.”

“I am sorry,” I said, “But I will not contribute.”

“What a shame,” said the younger, “But we will not press the issue, as there are many more potentials. We want to wish you a good night.”

“Before we do,” the older interrupted, “Pray tell, you look rather sad, kind sir.”

I was so surprised at their curiosity and their flowery language that I decided to participate and see how this plays out. Besides, certain people pay good money for the privilege of sharing personal issues with strangers.

“Yes,” I sighed, “Unfortunately, I am in love with a girl and it is one of those unhappy scenarios.”

“You love her,” said the younger, “But she does not love you?”

“Something like that,” I nodded.

“Ah, the oldest malaise of all,” said the older, “And how do you hope to recuperate?”

“I want to wait it out,” I said. “It will pass.”

“Yes, yes,” agreed the younger, “You can navigate any labyrinth if you keep your hand to the left wall and continue with persistence, it is a sure method to finally see the light of day.”

“Ha!” said the older, “But if you navigate the dark labyrinth of human bowels and emerge into the light of day, you are no more than a piece of shit exiting the anus. There is another way. Turn around and navigate an even darker and tighter labyrinth. Climb up and up and up until you see the electric light of the brain. There, in the chamber of the skull, you will find respite.”

The metaphor filled me with awe. I thanked the two philosophers and gave them a little money as a parting gift. I had a lot to think about.

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