After I am Dead

If you are reading this after I am dead, know I am not up there somewhere looking down on you. I am not on my knees worshiping the Lord. I am not in Heaven, eternally in bliss.

I am not in hell either, tormented by demons, of my separation from the creator.

I was alive and experienced great joy and great sorrow. But then I died and my whole self was extinguished.

I knew love, in that grey room with the rain outside, but warmth within. I was at peace sometimes. I was useless most of the time, as are we all.

I was not precious and worth preserving. I was not unique and valuable. I was just a realization of physical processes, and I lasted as long as I needed to last. Not a moment longer.

Behind the House

The front of the house was for normal things, like cars pulling up, and saying goodbye before going to work, or saying goodbye forever when she moved out and took the kids. It was part of normal life.

But the back of the house was a different story altogether. Continue reading “Behind the House”


That one night in Venice changed my life.

My laptop made the e-mail noise, so I lifted the lid and the ancient Venetian hotel room filled with bright light from the display. The unread e-mail was there, smack in the middle of the screen, waiting for me to read it, enticing me with the subject line. “You won’t believe it.”

Continue reading “Unexpected”